Monday, January 30, 2006

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair

It's not fair that I still have 3 out of my 4 grandparents who are still alive and for the most part healthy...and my husband has no grandparents.

It's not fair that some people try for several years to have a child, but then there are those who get pregnant if someone looks at them the right way. I found out this morning that one of my friends from high school is about halfway through her pregnancy. I'm hurt on a few levels...they were wanting to wait until she was done with grad school which was right around Christmas time (last month)...well, turns out it happened in September. She is due in June, right around the time of another friend...who was planning to wait 5 years before having kids. She and her husband are going to have their 1st child before celebrating their first anniversary. Again, totally not planned.

Here I sit...having not been on birth control for almost a year...and nothing. Ugh, it just gets to me sometimes. I promised myself I wouldn't obbess over this, but today it just reared it's ugly head. Everyday I wonder if I will be able to have kids because of the thryoid cancer from last year. I had to have the radioacitve idoine to make sure it didn't spread beyond the thyroid...but did that screw me up? I'm sure the fact that I don't have my thyroid anymore is also making it difficult. But as rational i try to be, it still hurts. I keep praying that our lives will work out for us this year!

I also ask that you keep bill's family in your thoughts and prayers...his aunt/godmother isn't doing well and her time is very limited. please pray that she doesn't have to suffer too much longer and that the family can get through all of this.

4 comments:

The Warfield Family said...

Jenn I'm sorry. I know it has to be frustrating. I mean here I tried for 5 months and that bothered me. Have you tried charting your cycles? Are you considering seeing a Dr.? (((Hugs)))

Sarah said...

{{hugs}} Jenn. I don't truly know what you are going through, but TTC in itself can be stressful - waiting, and wanting, and waiting some more. It will happen ... as I've said before to someone else that tried for months - God is just being picky in which angel he sends down to Earth for you. :) Sending lots of ::::baby dust:::: your way.

Lacey said...

Hang in there Jen! I know all about life not being fair but all you can do is keep going and keep your chin up. If you need to talk, you know where I am!

Jess said...

HUGS Jenn! If you need to talk, I am here for you. I know how hard ttc can be... My prayers are with you.