Monday, September 27, 2004

an update on me

All things considered, I'm feeling pretty good...just still nervous as all hell. It's hard when you're trying to stay calm, however, your head is full of all these different "what-ifs"...Ugh...poor Bill...I'm surprised he hasn't hit me over the head with a blunt object yet. ha ha. i keep telling him I wouldn't be offended if he did that!

I went in last Thursday for my doctor's appt. and he says that I'm looking good. I go in next Wednesday for the body scan. This is the part that's freaking me out, is if they find anything...then they have to do what's called "cell ablation"...which means a few nights in the hospital...and I'm like locked away from everyone. I'm a little miffed because I guess we didn't quite catch the whole story from the doctor and the nurse was telling me about this on Friday. It totally through me for a loop...that I wasn't expecting. Ack!! I'm nervous because that's more time off of work, which I really don't have much left...plus it's the whole idea of everything too.

On a positive note, Bill and I started house-hunting this weekend. We've been working with his sister, who's a loan officer and she let us know what we've been qualified for. We'd like to be in the house as soon as possible, but we have till next July, so we're taking our time being picky. We went to this one townhouse and it was just GOD awful...our friends just happen to live in the subdivision...but the people in this house didn't take care of it...blech....and they were asking $150K for it. DEFINTELY...not worth that amount. I mean, when you sell your house, you need to do your best to get it clean and KEEP it clean, as that helps in selling ( I remember ALWAYS having to keep my room clean when we lived in Champaign...that sucked for an 11 year old...always making sure the bed was made...lol). Not to mention, the family was in the house while we were there, so that was disgusting. The entire house reeked....and there were awful stains on the carpeting ugh...I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

The other positive news is that Bill and I made the decision for me to stop BCP...however, we're truly not ttc as of yet. lol I want to wait until all of this testing is done before I can truly say I want to get pregnant. I mean, if it happens, we'll totally enjoy it and be happy, but if it takes 6 months before we can seriously start trying...than that's perfectly fine with me too. I don't want to jeopardize a little one's life because Mommy had all these nasty yuckies to deal with. If I have to go through with this ablation thingy...i've read that they would like you to wait at least 6 months before getting pregnant. I read it online, but I would like to wait and see what the doctor has to say. Bill understands that we need to take care of me first too...so that's reassuring. lol

The nice thing that I thank God for everyday is the support of everyone. I've had so many people just thinking of me, it's been really nice. For so long, I really considered dropping the membership from my church, but after all of this, I'm going to stick with it. The minister calls me to see how I'm doing...she came out to the hospital the day after my surgery....people have been sending me cards and keeping me on prayers lists. Not to mention, they've been supporting my parents too. I guess in the whole scheme of things I freaked a few people out...trust me wasn't my intention.

Well, now that I've written a novel and probably bored all of you to tears, I must get moving.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Long overdue posting

For my one fan, who reads it. :-) Otherwise, this is for my own health...literally.

On August 12th, I went in to my doctor to get the results of my thyroid ultrasound. I've been feeling not-so good for awhile and I kept on my doctor stating that the medicine wasn't working. So, he ordered an ultrasound...and then he told me the worst part...it had grown and he needed to remove the right side of my thyroid. I had all these emotions going through my head, from just your simple outpatient procedure to not making it off the surgery table. Never been hospitalized made it even scarier.

the morning of the surgery, all i kept thinking was "don't throw up"...I was so nervous. I knew that once I had anthesthia, I wouldn't feel a thing and all would be well. I did everything I could not to bawl once I was wheeled away, kissing Bill good-bye. But I had to be strong, and know that everything would be ok.

Well, it was and it wasn't. As it turns out the doctor took out the entire thyroid, as it showed the thyroid as 70% cancerous. My first question was "do i need to have chemo?....I remember asking Bill that in recovery"...luckily I don't.

My recovery has gone so well, it's amazing. I find it hard to say "I'm a cancer survivor"...even though I am. I'm not even 27 and I can say that!