So, I belong to this email group

 

 

A few years ago, I stumbled upon the world of Yahoo Groups and my oh my has it been an interesting ride ever since!

 

So, last week, one of the lists that I am on, kind of fell apart, but it had been coming for a long time.  The list was full of drama almost all the time and I felt that as a whole, people had begun to separate and not support each other much like in the “good old days”.  People were leaving the list, backstabbing other people and just creating more and more lies.  In the end, there have been 2 lists that were created and maybe that’s how it should be.   In the end, I spoke some words, that truthfully were not the nicest things in the world to say, but I had grown very tired and frustrated with the lack of maturity, so I spoke my mind.  It actually felt good to say some of those things.  In all honestly, for the people who feel it necessary to now backstab others (including myself), I really wish that someday that they will realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that they too make mistakes in life.

 

Off my soapbox and back to work!  Happy Wednesday!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

I can’t believe that the 2004 Holiday season is already here.  It seems like 2004 started yesterday and already we are preparing for 2005.  Even though money has been tight for us the past few years, I absolutely love Christmas and not just for the gifts...I love the yummy food J and getting together with family.  Most of all, I love celebrating the reason for the season...I always see this time as a re-birth of my soul...silly as it sounds.

 

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this journal...oops....but who is really reading it truthfully? LOL 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Did this work?

 

 

feeling lost and confused right about now...

i just don't know where i want my life to go right now. before my surgery, I worked my tail off, I took pride in my job...worked hard.

then, i find out I have cancer. suddenly, I don't know what's important...I still enjoy my job...but lately I feel like there are more important things than work. family, health

I could use some prayers right about now...taking this weekened to try and find out what's more important in my life.

an update on me

All things considered, I'm feeling pretty good...just still nervous as all hell. It's hard when you're trying to stay calm, however, your head is full of all these different "what-ifs"...Ugh...poor Bill...I'm surprised he hasn't hit me over the head with a blunt object yet. ha ha. i keep telling him I wouldn't be offended if he did that!

I went in last Thursday for my doctor's appt. and he says that I'm looking good. I go in next Wednesday for the body scan. This is the part that's freaking me out, is if they find anything...then they have to do what's called "cell ablation"...which means a few nights in the hospital...and I'm like locked away from everyone. I'm a little miffed because I guess we didn't quite catch the whole story from the doctor and the nurse was telling me about this on Friday. It totally through me for a loop...that I wasn't expecting. Ack!! I'm nervous because that's more time off of work, which I really don't have much left...plus it's the whole idea of everything too.

On a positive note, Bill and I started house-hunting this weekend. We've been working with his sister, who's a loan officer and she let us know what we've been qualified for. We'd like to be in the house as soon as possible, but we have till next July, so we're taking our time being picky. We went to this one townhouse and it was just GOD awful...our friends just happen to live in the subdivision...but the people in this house didn't take care of it...blech....and they were asking $150K for it. DEFINTELY...not worth that amount. I mean, when you sell your house, you need to do your best to get it clean and KEEP it clean, as that helps in selling ( I remember ALWAYS having to keep my room clean when we lived in Champaign...that sucked for an 11 year old...always making sure the bed was made...lol). Not to mention, the family was in the house while we were there, so that was disgusting. The entire house reeked....and there were awful stains on the carpeting ugh...I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

The other positive news is that Bill and I made the decision for me to stop BCP...however, we're truly not ttc as of yet. lol I want to wait until all of this testing is done before I can truly say I want to get pregnant. I mean, if it happens, we'll totally enjoy it and be happy, but if it takes 6 months before we can seriously start trying...than that's perfectly fine with me too. I don't want to jeopardize a little one's life because Mommy had all these nasty yuckies to deal with. If I have to go through with this ablation thingy...i've read that they would like you to wait at least 6 months before getting pregnant. I read it online, but I would like to wait and see what the doctor has to say. Bill understands that we need to take care of me first too...so that's reassuring. lol

The nice thing that I thank God for everyday is the support of everyone. I've had so many people just thinking of me, it's been really nice. For so long, I really considered dropping the membership from my church, but after all of this, I'm going to stick with it. The minister calls me to see how I'm doing...she came out to the hospital the day after my surgery....people have been sending me cards and keeping me on prayers lists. Not to mention, they've been supporting my parents too. I guess in the whole scheme of things I freaked a few people out...trust me wasn't my intention.

Well, now that I've written a novel and probably bored all of you to tears, I must get moving.

Long overdue posting

For my one fan, who reads it. :-) Otherwise, this is for my own health...literally.

On August 12th, I went in to my doctor to get the results of my thyroid ultrasound. I've been feeling not-so good for awhile and I kept on my doctor stating that the medicine wasn't working. So, he ordered an ultrasound...and then he told me the worst part...it had grown and he needed to remove the right side of my thyroid. I had all these emotions going through my head, from just your simple outpatient procedure to not making it off the surgery table. Never been hospitalized made it even scarier.

the morning of the surgery, all i kept thinking was "don't throw up"...I was so nervous. I knew that once I had anthesthia, I wouldn't feel a thing and all would be well. I did everything I could not to bawl once I was wheeled away, kissing Bill good-bye. But I had to be strong, and know that everything would be ok.

Well, it was and it wasn't. As it turns out the doctor took out the entire thyroid, as it showed the thyroid as 70% cancerous. My first question was "do i need to have chemo?....I remember asking Bill that in recovery"...luckily I don't.

My recovery has gone so well, it's amazing. I find it hard to say "I'm a cancer survivor"...even though I am. I'm not even 27 and I can say that!

I love those Ebay people!!!

Finally, something that worked out for the best!!

A few weeks ago, we received a notice in the mail that we had an account balance on our Ebay Account of $172. This was the first account we had used and we hadn't touched it since June of 2003 before me moved.

So, I contacted them asking why the balance was so high, because I didn't understand that. The rep emailed me back stating that the last payment was made in 6/03 and there was a remaining balance of 2.38...when they went to make the payment the next month, the bank returned it and they've been returning it ever since. When he told me this, I realized what had happened. Before all of this happened, we believe our car was broken in to...and we had our bank acct info in the car....so we decided to close that account and open another one. Well, before we closed it completely, we did have some payments that were going through, so the bank had to contact us and we had to approve the expense. Once all payments were put through, we did close the account. And low and behold...Ebay wasn't notified.

The response that I got back today was that Ebay will credit our account $170...so we just have to pay the remaining balance of 2.38. Truthfully, I was expecting them to say "Tough, we want our money"...so i was quite excited to read this!!!!!!

Just had to share!!!

The Year I was born

In 1977 (the year you were born)

• Jimmy Carter becomes president of the US
• Most of the 10,000 Vietnam War draft evaders are pardoned by President Carter
• Singer Anita Bryant starts her "Save Our Children" crusade against gay rights
• Elvis Presley dies in his Graceland bathroom
• Congress creates a Department of Energy
• Anwar Sadat flies to Jerusalem in a dramatic gesture of willingness to discuss peace
• Orlando Bloom, Shakira, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Liv Tyler, and Ludacris are born
• New York Yankees win the World Series
• Oakland Raiders win Superbowl XI
• Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
• Swedish music group ABBA passes The Beatles as having most records sold
• Star Wars is the top grossing film
• The Shining by Stephen King is published
• "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone spends the most time at the top of the US charts
• Three's Company premieres

i've got some cute nephews

my sister just sent pics on thursday that were taken at sears....and I have them hanging up at my work cubicle. my little buddies. i love them to pieces. i can't believe how big Curtis is getting and how quickly time flies. i barely remember my sister being pg and now my little godson is 2 months old. and he's a big boy too...defintely eats well!

what a week this has been

it's been absolutely insane, it's a wonder I have any hair left!

Monday is always my worst day of the week...work is so hectic. It's usualy a good kind of hectic, but before I know it, the day is half gone and I don't feel like I did anything productive! We had *60* people who started in Orientation, probably one of the biggest starts in awhile or ever. 13 of those people were from my department converting from temporary employee to full time employee. Well, one person didn't make it, as his work Visa was expiring and he didn't know when it was going to be renewed and we as a company can't sponsor him. So, he was let go. Another person forgot to show up because she doesn't work on Mondays. She'll go through next week and will have to wait until Oct for benefits. Her loss....she was told what would happen!

Tuesday and Wednesday were a little better, I was finally able to find my desk and get paperwork to the proper area. Wednesday was a little bit crazy because dh had this great idea that we could sell our digital camera to his sister and then we would go out and buy a new one. Umm...let's think about this, we can't afford it right now. Second off, (and I didn't say this to him, but it was considered)...she makes all this money, she can go and buy her own digital camera. I know she's his little sister and he wants to protect her, but geez...she makes more money by herself than he and I do together! I think he finally realized that's not the smartest idea at the moment.

Thursday was my breaking point however. We had a little bit of a fight the night before, so I was tired and stressed from that. Than to find out, he called work to find out what was going on with his pay (mind you, it's been 6 weeks since he's been off on disability) and there was no check for this week either. Cable was shut off because we hadn't paid it....we thought we would be able to make payments on our phone, but without his check there was no way. I had about $20 to my name and that had to get us through next Friday. Yea, sure, that wasn't going to happen. Once I got into work, I broke down to my co-worker and she was ready to write me a check right then and there. I couldn't believe how thoughtful she was. I chose not to take the money because that would have been one more person to pay back and it would have felt ackward taking from someone who I don't "really" know. We did end up borrowing from Mom and Dad again, which I hated, but I know that eventually this will work itself out and we'll be back on track.

Friday was so much better....Bill and I got past the "uglies" and we just know that money is a stressful thing...no matter what we do, it's always going to be there. I just have to keep the faith and pray that God will get us through this, just as he did a few years back. I keep praying that Bill's foot will heal and he can return to work. As much as he drives me crazy and I want him to head back to work for that reason, I want him to succeed at his job. His life has been filled with so much negativity, I want something to work out for him. He was so thrilled to be taking this new position, and he hasn't been able to do anything since then. I'm hoping that he'll be going back after he sees the doctor in a few weeks...his foot is feeling better, so I'm hoping that it just took time for it to heal.

a relaxing Saturday

haven't had one of those in long time! It's been quite nice. i got to sleep in...then bill and i had a little bit of fun! ;-) in the afternoon we decided to head out to look at some model homes....was that ever depressing. they were beautiful and EXPENSIVE. The kinds you get once you've won the lottery

here goes nothing

trying this again....may this be a place to channel my thoughts and emotions!!