Some of these are actually true...

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Chicago .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through
May, you live in Chicago

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
Chicago .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back
again, you live in Chicago .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago .

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody is p assing you, you live in Chicago

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow, you live in Chicago .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and
road construction, you live in Chicago .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Chicago .

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
Chicago friends & others, you live or have lived in Chicago .